how do i knitting in the round with 2 colors without hurting my hands and fingers so much
Are you using double pointed needles of a circular needle(s)? Needle type can affect reasons.
For either type, however, it sounds like you're putting a lot of strain on your hands. Loosen up your wrists and forefingers and knit more loosely so that your stitches are not as tight. They will still look fine, and you won't have to work so hard with the right hand needle and hold the left hand needle with as much tension. For instance, I maintain a very even stitch tension, but I have almost no tension in my hands - my fingers hold the needles very lightly and the only muscular tension I have is in my right forefinger to throw the loop.
In particular with 2 colors you need to hold the yarn lightly - if it's too tight the color work won't be relaxed looking - you'll have "stretched" sections that won't allow the pattern to lie completely flat. Don't worry about the yarn on the wrong side being too loose when it's carried, the yarn strands adhere to each other and won't leave gaps.
Are you knitting with a color on the right hand and a color on the left hand? I've seen people try to knit with both colors on one hand - that puts a lot of unnecessary tension on the hand to keep the yarns aligned.
Hope this helps a little - don't know how you're holding yarns and needles so hard to be direct!
And all the women who were wise of heart spun with their hands, and they kept bringing as yarn the blue thread and the wool dyed reddish purple, the coccus scarlet material and the fine linen. Ex. 35:25